“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”

–George Washington

This is a quote that holds a lot of meaning for where I am at in my life right now. I believe that I do a pretty good job with the “be courteous to all” and the “intimate with few” part, but every once in a while, I struggle with the rest of it.  Maybe it’s because of loneliness or because I deal with a lot of people who come into prison and paint a picture of themselves as who they think I want them to be. Maybe it’s some of both.

What I know is that there have been people I have given my confidence to and they crushed my heart with the trust that came with that. I recently had someone who I trusted with SO much of my life throw my worst mistake in my face in a moment of anger. I often say that I feel like you can never truly know somebody and that is how I felt in this moment. I also understand, though, that I always have a lesson to learn through these types of experiences. I strive to look through the pain and disappointment and seek the lesson.

I learn more, with each experience, about my strength and that I have the ability to keep waking up and trying again. In regards to letting those few who get close to me being well tried before I give them my confidence, well, I extend understanding to myself when I make a mistake and I still hold my head high. My advice is to never forget your value as an individual and when someone tramples on the trust you have given them, remember to step outside of the hurt and look for the lesson.